Infidelity – one partner cheating on the other, is one of the biggest causes of relationship breakups. Because when someone is unfaithful, the other person almost always feel like I can never trust him/her again.

This is what people usually feel when infidelity has occurred. To have real love trust is a vital ingredient. When trust is broken, it is normal to believe there is no hope for ever getting it back. Regardless of how much we love many things about our mate, after infidelity, we have a very hard time seeing how we could trust them after such a betrayal.

For this reason trust is one of the largest problems in break ups. Your ex is wondering if they can ever truly trust you not to cheat on them again. Why get back together if there is just going to be more cheating? So when break ups happen due to cheating, on of the big issue on your ex’s mind is

Can I trust you again?

I mean, if they rejected you because of some problem behavior, like cheating, or fighting, or not communicating with them, then they need to know BEFORE they let you come back that you wont keep doing the thing they left you about.

The emotion of broken trust/betrayal is one of the toughest feelings for an ex lover to get over. We all believe that trust takes a long time to build. So when it’s broken, we usually believe it is unfixable, correct?

Broekn trust is a huge betrayal in the heart. Broken trust feels immediately like distance and separation, the very opposite of intimacy. So you have almost ZERO CHANCE of getting back with your mate until you deal with the feeling of broken trust.

You must understand this to see how you can get back together with your ex. If you cant deal with the feelings of betrayal and broken trust and the complete emotional distance that it causes, you wont be able to get back together. And, if you do somehow luck out and they give you another chance, it wont last, because without trust there cant be the feeling of closeness and intimacy we all really want.

How can you ? Well, normally, when there is a breakdown, we all try to avoid blame. We point the finger elsewhere. I cheated because you were cold to me! I cheated because I was drunk! I cheated because the devil temptress made me do it! When there is a big relationship buster like cheating, the natural tendency is to try to avoid blame.

Give those excuses to your ex and shell think youre a weak idiot. She may take you back, but it wont last, there will be real distance, because those excuses dont allow her to trust you. What if you get drunk again? What if she is cold to you a month from now? What if a pretty skirt tempts you tomorrow when youre walking down the street? So one of the first powerful things you can do is accept blame. Take full responsibility. Dont offer weak or lame excuses.

Instead of weak excuses, you can say something like “I know I broke your trust in me, and I’m so sorry that I did this and made you feel so hurt…”

That is a powerful start to repairing the trust. If you got cheated on hearing that can help you to begin to deal with the infidelity. Its like when you have kids and they screw up and you catch them and they try to lie or blame someone else it makes you much angrier. But if they own up to it you can forgive them much more easily.

There are many other steps that need to be followed before you can truly begin to repair the trust, but this is a very big initial step!

Related posts:

1. Tips on Getting Married and Staying Married
2. The Best Way to Find Affordable Full-Service Long Distance Movers
3. Filipino Maids – Why Filipino Maids Prefer Western employers
4. Lionel Manuals Review – Repair and Restoration For Lionel Trains
5. What To Expect In Finding A Dependable Attorney

Tags: advice, family, home, Homes, intimacy, love, Relationships

This entry was posted on Monday, January 19th, 2009 at 4:56 am and is filed under Homes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.